Quick Retcon Section
Apparently, Some Asshat is actually named Glim. Huh. Also he apparently has a mask. Also also he apparently made a bunghole have a magical property and gave it to somebody. That somebody was Thirteen supposedly. Now it no longer has no magical powers. So Thirteen inherited a magical, non-magical bunghole.
Elegnos – One of Pat’s gamble buddies.
Crash Kenku – The other gambler. This is his second appearance. His next appearance will be Warped.
Isabelle Mournhell – our collector for this area. Sh’es a half-elf. Garbage stats. Spent all her points on metal as fuck name.
Gorvil – a pussy ass bitch Jeweler in the area making a good bit of money. Hasn’t missed a payment, but he keeps getting later and later on his payments.
Doran – He’s a butcher. Not a Treant.
Locations of Interest
The Location Formerly Known as The Simple Dragon Tavern – Well, I guess they can rebuild it into the Sleepy Dragon now.
What Our Mission Is For the Next Campaign
To swing this whole explosion as a totally intentional, intimidating message to a few people:
Gorvil, the Jeweler
Doron, the Butcher
Galza, the ex-Tavern Owner…potentially.
Glim – Fine Skeltia ware
Glim – Course Skeltia that was fine Skeltia before becoming course. Also known as broken glass.
Glim – Alchemist Jugs, which apparently can make everything, including music.
Edgar – Astor’s drink
The Mission – Our dignity.
Edgar – A hired guard’s second chance at redeeming his life with his loved ones. Because the guard is dead.
The Short Notes
Hahahaha. Oh man. Woo boy. What a doozy. This session man.
So, Glim started out by passing along a fire starter, a bottle of oil, and a smoke stick to Astor so he can set up a small dumpster fire for his distraction. Astor hands Edgar his tools of truths so that Edgar could get some bonuses while inside the tavern before heading off to his rally point. When Astor arrived, he starts smoking his pipe. Simple stuff so far. But hold on.
Everyone else goes into the tavern. Edgar is disguised as Barnibus, and is disguised as Barnibus the whole time. No one ever asked questions or asked if he was still disguised even towards the end of the session. But that’s fine. Glim went to go talk with the bartender all about brewing, which clearly the bartender didn’t want none of that, but Glim forced his conversation on the poor bartender. Edgar and Thirteen decide to order drinks. Still pretty normal stuff.
After a couple of hours, Tiki sees Fynawyn coming with a group of guards. When the guards arrive at the tavern, they cause a minor commotion while Fynawyn asks to speak with the owner. After a short while, the owner comes out of the back room, had a little chit chat with Fynawyn and announces that the guards want everyone to get out. It won’t be long, so you can wait out front if you want. Little did these people know that this would be the first wrong decision. The gang all leave the building as if we were normal patrons, with Edgar leaving his alcohol on the table cause he could come back for it later. Wrong decision number 2.
Glim, Edgar, and Thirteen all make up excuses while outside about how waiting 10-15 minutes to go back in to drink and walk off, before finding an alleyway to duck into and then double back to the tavern. Four minutes pass as everyone gets to the back of the tavern, and Thirteen does his first action in the entire campaign, casting silence on a window. OOOOooooOOOOOOooooHHHH! Take that window. You shall know the full wrath of a death cleric! Glim breaks the window, and Glim and Edgar sneak on into the kitchen. They look for false/locked doors in the kitchen and only find dishes, supplies, and storage of food. Glim peeks out into the main room and sees that nobody is inside, bu he does notice that there are windows out to the main street. Thirteen waits outside, making sure no one comes around the building. Simple stuff still. Everything has gone fine. Nothing will fail.
Glim almost fails a sneak check when going into the main room. STILL NO FAILURES! IT’S FINE! EVERYTHING IS OK! Glim and Edgar make it inside the backroom that was guarded earlier only to notice it isa small room of fine Skeltia ware. Glim swagger jacks the fine Skeltia, maybe breaking a few along the way. It’s fine. Still no real failure yet. They look around the room and discover that there is a is a hidden cellar door with a lock on it, so naturally Glim decides to use acid to break the lock in a minutes time rather than spend a minute and 6 seconds lock picking. They open the latch and go inside and….
ITS LIT AS FUCK FAM!!
As in there’s light. The party isn’t lit…yet.
Glim and Edgar decide they will go DOWN, DOWN IN AN EARLIER ROUND! AND SUGAR WE’RE GOING DOWN SWINGING! Edgar screams “I’LL BE YOUR NUMBER ONE WITH A BULLET! A LOADED TRAPPED DOOR, PICK IT AND BLOW IT!”
Down the trapped door is a room. In the corner, my god, its a sleeping guard. Head against the wall. Got a club. Appears to be a human. Not too young. Not too old. About 35 years old. Just celebrated his birthday. It was a subtle celebration. He spent his day with his girlfriend that he just got back together with. They took a 4 month break after being together for 4 years because he took his guard duties too serious. But he realize he couldn’t keep living his life without this woman, so he changed his ways and won her back. Still a guard for hire, but its not his whole life anymore. Everything is going well in this guys life. He appears to not be burned. Wait. Stop. Yah no burns. There’s also a ton of barrels full of all kind of booze in this room. Oh, and a locked door. Edgar sneaks his way to the door.
Meanwhile, Tiki flies around and finds the investigators are about 4 minutes form the tavern, so Astor starts the distraction. He leaves the alleyway and begins finding his way off the beaten path to the Simple Dragon. Something about Black Banny.
Back to Edgar; he successfully sneaked, snuk… snuked… his way to the door and gave it a little jiggle and my god it’s locked. Glim decides to try and follow, and doesn’t succeed on his sneak check. My god. Who would have saw this coming! Lets not look back about 5 paragraphs earlier where Glim nearly failed his previous sneak check. Oh no. Nothing in common with these two incidents. Lucky for the gang, Edgar was named Johnny on the Spot in a previous life and bashes the guards face with the pommel of his sword as he was about to wake up AND BAM! CRITICAL HIT FOR 34 DAMAGE! KNOCKED THE CUCK RIGHT THE FUCK OUT! Crit table offers Edgar a second action, to which Edgar rudely declines. Crit Table God be left unpleased. Edgar missed his opportunity for First Blood medal. But don’t worry. He…redeems (?) himself later.
Edgar goes to pick the lock on the door while Glim investigates the barrels of booze. Good rolls. Realize they all have the lemur symbol. After a minute or minute and a half of lock picking, Glim finally smells that smelly smell that smells smelly with a small hint of explosives and tries to tell Edgar to stop picking the lock.
And the dice says 1.
Did I mention a small hint of explosives? Cause bitch, this is the Simple Dragon, and there ain’t NOTHING simple about no trapped door set to explode. Very dragon esque to spew fire everywhere, yes. But simple. HELL NAH! This bitch is a big explosion!
Also, did I mention that the guard wasn’t burned? Hahaha. Well, he’s not doing so hot now. Or he’s doing too hot. Either way he’s dead now and Edgar got his first blood! WOO! Also Edgar almost dies from the explosion. Luckily Glim has a super healing potion and he tosses it to Edgar who successfully catches the potion.
Also also, Thirteen hears the explosion, cause how could you not, and he fucking legs it. Peace bro.
Astor was slowly walking to the tavern, sees the explosion, and is now slowly walking away from the tavern.
Meanwhile, Edgar and Glim notices that inside the room the explosion came from that there are stacks upon stacks upon stacks of alchemist jugs with some weird symbols. Glim manages to shovel five of them into his bag of holding before they run out of the cellar! Actually wait Glim tries to do a concussion blast to blast the fire away. Shockingly, it does not work. Edgar manages to escape before the guards rushed into the building. Glim is spotted by the guards, but he manages to lose them.
Astor and Thirteen decided that they should go to the HQ. Edgar decides the HQ should be where he goes. Glim thought Marrowind was the best place to be, and stayed there for an hour, cleaning up, before realizing no one was showing up so he too goes to the HQ. Before Edgar and Glim could get to the HQ, Elegnos and Crash Kenku come up and were like, “Uuuuh what happened?” and Astor was immediate damage control and was like, “blip blip bloop.”
…It didn’t go over well with Elegnos and Crash.
Edgar showed up to the HQ, burned and charred, and Astor was like, “sooooo…” while Thirteen was staring down Cloudfang. Edgar takes Astors drink and states that he has some good news and some bad news. The good news is that the tavern own now knows that we mean business. The bad news is she has no business. Edgar then explains everything that happened.
Hey Glim showed up and he’s like, “look at all the swagger I jacked.” It was pretty good swagger. Some good skeltia plates, some course plates, and 5 musical instruments. I mean, 5 mayonnaise producers. The alchemist jugs. Glim guesses that the woman had about 50 total jugs. Had. She’s down to 45 at best.
Astor begins coming up with a plan about wanting to go Galza’s home and make our sells pitch now, because that’s totally going to work. He discusses that we can work out a loan system to get her back on her feet as an extra incentive to deal with us before Cloudfang comes over to discuss what happened. Astor argues that the lady was crazy having a booby trap set for her alcoholic establishment and that our plan didn’t actually consist of the exploding. He tells Cloudfang our recovery plan while Glim shows him the alchemist jugs and tells him about the lemur brand. We discussed possibly drawing up the symbol and then asking our merchant contact about the symbol before Cloudfang asks if we even asked Galza if she would pay up. Astor tried to argue that was the previous group’s job. Cloudfang was too happy with that response, but hey. He’s actually cool with the recovery plan!
Cloudfang suggests they can give out a 500 gold loan to Galza, but could be convinced to go up to 750-1000g if we can get her to comply to our new payroll plan. Wait, no. Fuck that. She was already not reliable trying to skip out on paying the Thieves’ Guild. Maybe find a new person to offer the loan too. Either way, Cloudfang likes the idea that we turn this mishap into a “sending a message” plan. He tasks the boys with going to Gorvil, a jeweler, and Doran, a butcher, and spin this whole explosion thing as a intimidation check on why they should pay us money. And also to go make a point to Galza. Because, reason?
Oh btw, This branch is only 15 years old and the guild is represented by a crow symbol. Each branch has a different object that the crow holds with the Kadena branch being a wand. Oh Cloudfang also gave Thirteen a dope hat.
The gang decide to start with the jeweler Gorvil.